My Mom The late and great Doris Smolenski
On the 21st of March 2016, I lost the most important person in my life, my only real friend, my mother Doris Smolenski. I am devastated and unsure what my plans for the future are. I was taking care of her for the last bunch of years exclusively, except for the help of her amazing doctors and therapist.  I miss my awesome friend and mother more than words can describe.
She was born in 1927, in a one room shack with no running water and an "outdoor john". I didn't know my grandparents but I think she was one of 11 kids living in that place.See the picture I took of it below. It has recently been torn down. When they were finally able to move to another place with water and heat, etc., her mother died from a cerebral hemorrhage when she was just 14 years old. Her father took the youngest kid and split for Florida, leaving behind my 14 year old mom to fend for herself.
She somehow found an amazing husband, My Father Walter A. Smolenski. They were perfect for each other. They were married for more than 50 years. They had a really strange kid who played all kinds of music and painted some of the craziest abstract paintings in the world. ( www.petersmolenski.com/tiny )
She always wanted to be a teacher, but circumstances prevented her from going beyond 7th grade. Her mother was dead, her father had abandoned her. She got special permission to be signed out of school and get a job at 14 years old. I feel so lucky to have been able to spend 54 years with my mom. She worked at various jobs including the Pro Brush Factory in Florence, but her best job was when she became "THE Lunch Lady" at the former South St. School. There she was loved by all the students and teachers. She worked hard to make sure the kids were safe on the playground and helped out anyone in any way she could.
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Doris was an amazing cook. I will never forget the Thanksgiving dinners she would make. I would help her put a 27 pound turkey in the oven at midnight..... slow cooked and basted all night until around noon the next day. I'd wake up to the amazing smell of the food, and my Dad would have the parade on the TV. Such good times. So comfortable and safe.. She would make huge pans of golumpkis, and give them to everyone in the neighborhood. Now unfortunately her secret recipe is lost forever. She did not write it down. A loss for the entire world right there. I'll never have a meal half as good as anything my Mom ever made for me.  My Dad and I had a huge garden. One year we had 27 different varieties of tomatoes, which we also gave away to all the neighbors. He used to cook chicken outdoors on the grill rotating around on Sundays. I'd ride my bike up and down the street until it was ready. You could smell the aroma all over the street, of the chicken, the fresh mowed lawn, other people cooking out. The great old days. Unfortunately there will never be anything like that again. Everything is so weird and different now. I don't even know any of the people who live near me now. All the old timers are gone.
It's a completely different kind of scene now. Not even close to how cool it used to be here. At least I still have Arcadia, and the  Oxbow.

I was born with birth defects. More than 50 tumors. When I was in the hospital having my bones chopped up as a kid who do you think was with me the whole time? Yes, my Mom. My Dad was there less because he had to work. He was an experimental plastics injection molding expert. He made the mold for the Etch -A- Sketch, a cool art toy that a lot of us old timers remember. He also did the case for the first Texas Instruments computer and many other great projects. He sometimes  had to borrow money from loan sharks to pay for my operations. He was a purple heart veteran of WWII, and a kind and interesting person who you could really trust. He taught me many important lessons which I live by today. Right before he died he woke up and gave me "the look" and got out the words "You will have to take care of her. " He trusted me to watch out for my mother- his wife, which I then went into full gear for the next 12.5 years. I put all my art, music and writing on hold, and would gladly do it all again. She bought me my first guitar when I was in 5th grade. A no-name guitar with nylon stings (was easier on my tumor hand) from a dept. store for 12 dollars. I still have it today. It's a great guitar. The only thing it says on it is No. 7. That's so cool. She would sing songs for me to practice to, in hopes it would help my hand. It did, and I can play anything on the guitar, with little to no hand pain even to this day. My Dad also encouraged my music. The 3 of us constantly listened to all kinds of music. Our favorite was one Mr. Johnny Cash. First concert I ever saw. Hartford Civic Center, right before the roof collapsed. 
I started painting abstract paintings seriously in high school. Very odd and totally unique style. I really started getting into it in a big way. Because of my Mom and Dad I got to paint in some great studios. Florence, Easthampton, Shelburne Falls, home studio. I remember I was setting up the stage a couple hours before a major show, as I play set of music at all my art shows. I got a tap on the shoulder, turned to see them there. My Dad said "We don't know what it is you are doing (abstract painting), but we see how seriously you take it, and it looks great. And shit you have like 80 people here already and the show's not for a few hours...." One of the best things anyone ever said to me. That night 800 people descended upon the venue. The TV 22 news covered it. It got completely out of control at some point. The guy that got me the show was fired the next day with a huge list of reasons why. They were not prepared for a show of that scope. That was so much fun. Best part was my Mom and Dad recognized my work as being something valid, and good. 
-I would have never been an artist and musician without your support, and I thank you so very much for the interesting life you gave me. I swear that I did it all for you. Both of you. And I will keep at it in your honor.-
The last few years of my Mom's life was great except for a couple things. She had some medical issues, and needed extra help. It was way more than payback time. The rest of the family tried to stick her in a nursing home (long painful story), but I wouldn't let them. I took care of her 24/7. We had a great time. I got her a medical weed card at age 86, and she loved it. Cured everything that was wrong with her except her heart was damaged by rheumatic fever as a child. It finally got her at almost 88. She had suffered from a very bad AFIB her whole life. The doctors said she was the poster child for medical marijuana. They were amazed by how much it helped her. And it was so much fun getting baked with my 87 year old Mom.  She would watch all her favorite shows on TV. Some, like Little House On the Prairie, and The Walton's, resembled her early life. When she started vaping weed she started getting into Greek mythology and science shows. It was an amazing time in both of our lives. I'd give anything to have that back.
-Without your love and kindness I would be nothing. Everything I ever learned was from you and Dad. Everything I did was to try and impress you both. I wanted you to know you could be unconventional and still be a good and successful person. I hope that you knew that. I can't thank you enough for the incredible support and how amazing and beautiful people you were. You were absolutely the greatest mother and father ever. I love you both. I will never forget you. I will never do anything to dishonor your incredible care and help that you gave me.-
-I could go on writing about you forever. but I am going to save those memories. Please just know I hope you are together again somehow, and are doing very well an that I love you both and will never forget you or what you did for me. I hope there is a heaven of sorts because you will be there for sure. Please say hello and thank you to my brother Jeremy Schriber who I also hope you met up with. I'm sure I'll be seeing you all again very soon.
I am playing a special memorial concert for my Mom on March 21st, the day she died.
- Every song I ever play, is for you. I love you, I miss you so much, and I think about you every day.-
-Thank you so much for the "Phone Call From The Other Side".... and the orange birthday candle after you died.-
Things will never be the same without you.
Miss you tremendously. 
Your son,
Peter M. Smolenski
P.S. Really sorry the rest of your children only thought about Their own selfish crap. I am sure you forgive them now. I am still trying to do that. I do not consider them a part of my family in any way. I believe them to be evil. They have to live with themselves. That's karma right there.                                         
                                                           

Photo "Tear Staned 3D Glasses"(c) Copyright 2016 Doris Smolenski
This is the last photo she ever took. My Dad in the bottom right hand corner .Walter Smolenski. This was the last photo I took of him. He died in the VA hospital right before the Boston Red Socks finally won the whole fuckin' thing. He waited his whole life to see it and just missed it. People told me he broke the curse to try and make me feel better.
My Dad shoved this song into my head 12 years after he died,about 7 months months after my mom died. He came to me in a dream as Buddha and told me 2x "Phone call from the other side!" The second time with so much joy pouring out of him that it shook me awake and I had to run outside and wanted to rip my clothes off like I was being re-born or something. Two days later he told me  (from the other side)  to "get in there and record a song for your mother" ) A few hours later I listened to what me and my Dad who had been dead for 12 years record for her.
Phone Call From The Other Side Demo © 2016 Peter Smolenski and Walter A. Smolenski Sr. Written for my amazing  Mom Doris Smolenski Who Split the planet on March 21'st 2016
I am everything I am because of you. There is no song or recording of it good enough to thank you for everything you ever did for me. We took that picture when you came home…out in the backyard.

Doris Smolenski. Doris A. Smolenski. Walter Smolenski. Walter A.Smolenski. Peter Smolenski
Doris Smolenski, Walter A. Smolenski Peter Smolenski, Abstract Art Northampton, Ma
This is where it all began. She was born right there. The front part was added on much later. There were 11 kids in there.  Outdoor bathroom. No running water. She lived to be 88 and 3/4. It was known as "The Buddha" for some reason which I never knew and probably never will now.
Doris Smolenski and Walter Smolenski
Walter Smolenski
Letter To A Spoken Word Artist By Peter Smolenski
Ladies and Gentlemen.....
Paul
I hear your words loud and clear
And I know exactly the quandary
I've been there for years
I'm still there, even though I could be anywhere

I didn't here it ring
I was probably painting
Paintings no-one will ever really see
Or trying to make music
that no-one will ever actually hear

When I heard you called with the news
I could feel the pain, the frustration, the anxiety
The questions of life and death
The past, present and future.
The purpose of it all.........
I have no idea
It's a strange and complex program

Being in that moment
Alone, and also with you
I could throw it all away
Everything
Forever
Let it all go and become nothing

Peaceful
Nothing
Declination of all of this
The constant struggle
No expectation
No denial
Undefined

Nothing

Gave up all the chances
to do what I thought was right
What my father's last words to me were
Take care of his dear wife
help her with the rest of her life
I couldn't talk
Simply nodded yes

How long can I do this?
Until the job is finished
Or the job finishes me
In all the uncertainty
It feels like the right thing to do
No matter of what I might otherwise be doing

Not my time to see all the fantastic things in this place
Maybe I had that before
Now.... there is this work to do
I will do whatever it takes

Squeeze in that other work I do
The fantastic stuff that no-one sees or hears
Get a lot of it done
Regardless
Relentless
Meaningless even.

Let's not forget about art
The greatest artist who ever lived
Would throw it all away
To help the chosen two
until the job is done

And if by then I have no more time
To do the things I might have done
I'll somehow be more satisfied
Knowing what I know
Doing what I did
keeping most of it to myself
Because nobody would believe me anyway.

Because you are who you are
You will get through this
There is no way you can't if you think about it

That last painting fucked me up for a bunch of time
Only starting to feel better now
Drained from all the weird energy that went into it
I think that was six months

I'll be here the next time you call
Hope to see you soon

Attempt to make you laugh
True story
Last time shit was bad here
got an email from the therapist
"Caretaking is a bitch. Hang in there"
I am not going to say something text book psych 101 as that.

I will say let's do some cool stuff as soon as we can
and I hope it somehow gets better

I will be around for sure


Smolenskiiiiiiiiiii

Found this from 2010. This was seriously fun. I had done global online shows years before this one.
Post by Smolenski » Fri Jan 01, 2010 9:59 pm

Peter Smolenski invites you to his latest Global Online Art Event.
Guest artists are Master Holographer Larry Lieberman, and award wining Muti-Media Master Artist Balam Soto. Poets doing video poetry that night are Paul Richmond, Mike Detelj, and Tommy Twilite. Artist/Author Ted Mikulski will be on hand to discuss his exclellent new book "Art is Dead" There will be lively talk with the artists ,poets and guests in the Live Art Talk Room. You can win some art and poetry books by signing in to Live Art talk.

Smolenski has put together a massive online show. He will be showing a new hologram with mattias Soellner, 8 new paintings, some redisovered childhood paintings, a guitar, and a large amount of photography and digital art. There's also a gallery called "?" in which you can try to figure out what he did! Also some new music and other surprises.

Holo-meister Lieberman will be showing over 30 amazing holograms and 15 paintings- you really don't want to miss this.
Balam Soto will be showing a video of his incredible installation Cube V2.0 and 12 other beautiful pieces of work..

The poetry of Richmond, Detelj, and Twilite is fantastic.

3 Artists 3 Poets, Original Music and Great Conversation, Fake wine and cheese, and you don't have to drive anywhere.... in fact because it is an online event, anyone in the world can be there, regardless of geographical location or worries of driving in freezing rain. I Know one of the poets is attending naked and so can you! Who would know?
Event happens at http://www.petersmolenski.com Click on the Jan 10, 2010 Show tab.

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